While I've always been a 'sensitive' to negative energy (which equates to stress) around me, I am convinced it was because of working at The Art Institute, especially for an unreasonable manager, that I met the demise of my old life.
On Jon Stewart's show on Thursday, I caught the tail-end of an interview with an author, Jon Ronson, who wrote the book "The Psychopath Test: A Journey through the Madness." He claims that 4% of people in corporations are psychopaths. He said one guy, in jail now and a diagnosed psychopath, he interviewed claimed it was really important for people to like him. When asked why, he said that once he was able to convince someone to like him, he could manipulate them.
You may think this is off-the-wall, but now I understand my old boss better. This was an executive who pinched pennies to a fault, not only in the work environment but also personally. He and his girlfriend rented a house in Burien that had rats (he told a friend of mine there who also reports to him) and they had to either have the heat on in winter without TV, or watch TV and wear sweaters and blankets to keep warm since these blew the fuse (he told me directly) when both were on at the same time. Is this a normal person? I think not. He was totally manipulative with employees trying to be liked (hence, flip off an employee behind her back to show off to my employee who he ended up promoting to my position after getting rid of me).
The man is probably a psychopath.
Today I am having second thoughts of Costa Rica, for the first time since all the conversations started. Can my body take the extra discomfort from living there, although the warmth will be good for me on the other hand. Should I go ahead and apply for Disability. Can I leave the country and still be on Disability. Will my home mortgage modification loan go through. My American Express protection plan kicked in this morning and they paid over 4k of my debt retroactive when I first left the school. What a lovely surprise to wake up to on my computer this morning. "Payment posted to your account." repeated 14-15 times.Thank you, God, whomever you are.
But it was a bad day for my body today and I had to tell Max that unexpectedly taking Gabriel tonight just wasn't a good thing for me. I have to have some rest and sort out my brain a bit. The 'fibro fog' is certainly a real thing according to everyone on line! Hope it's not a precursor to Alzheimer's...
What happens if I'm in CR and I can't move around very well. Wheelchair access is not incorporated into their style of living. Maybe if I lived there I'd be cured and be able to move around better than ever. I just feel wrung out and lacking in confidence today. I think that is allowed.
And, Christopher, Kelly, and Jordan, are going to Spain and Portugal in spring and said I could 'bounce' around with them if I could keep up. And, flights out of CR are ridiculously expensive. But, a thought of renting a home base there where I could stay and they could take trips to, is a possibility, too. All depends on what is up with me in the springtime.
Had coffee with the woman I met online who lives on Vashon and is planning a trip to CR via Nova Scotia (where my father's family settled for a time after coming from Scotland) and sailing down the eastern seaboard.They are my age and were going to Berkeley the same time I was giving birth to Christopher in San Francisco. Their children are in their 20's and mine in their 40's (Jasmine just turned 39, so she is close). It'll be interesting to keep up with their trip reports.
Today's quote by me: "Give oneself permission to be still and be strong enough to say 'no' when the time for your healing dictates that you can only take care of yourself for now, quietly."
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