Today not only did I sign up for new health insurance which costs a fortune, but most importantly, I spoke with my almost 39 year old daughter about the possibility that I may be moving to Costa Rica. She took it much better than expected. Jasmine said Gabriel would miss me and she'll miss my help, which I presume is the time I spend with him, and the nights he stays over from the time he was so young. She also said there would be no way she'd let him travel alone to Costa Rica to see me. He'd have to go with someone. Then I told my son-in-law when he woke up (I was at their house) and he asked if I was selling my condo and why I am not moving to Italy instead (which is where his family is from). I can move forward now without this weight on my shoulders. Having secrets from my kids is difficult for me. Now I must talk with my mother and former mother-in-law. But, I think those conversations will probably be all right since they both know me so well and assumed I'd be moving to CR when I got back from the February trip.
Another thought crossing my mind today was to short-sell my condo since I owe more than what it is worth now, and maybe I should just use the settlement to put down on a place in Costa Rica. But I really need to spend more time there before making that leap, that's for sure.
Yesterday I heard from yet another old friend from Southern Oregon, who now lives in Santa Cruz. Dor was disappointed that I wasn't moving to Santa Cruz to rent a house together but I said it was too expensive there. All-in-all, she's happy to know she can visit me in CR.
Looking around my condo and seeing all my stuff is overwhelming. I'll have pack and store and sell so much. Why can't I just settle down and grow old somewhere comfortable and stop my gypsy ways of moving around. I've lived in San Francisco and Pleasant Hill, California; Wolf Creek and Grants Pass, Oregon; Boulder, Colorado; Seattle and Edmonds, Washington. Oh, and a month in Venice, Italy. Man, that's a whole different story.
I'm glad to have had these experiences but wonder what would have happened if I had stayed put in one of those places so that now I would have that comfortable, and paid for, place to grow old. Choices we make in our lives follow us for the rest of our lives. There are always repercussions. Cause and effect. Lessons to be learned. New friends to love. Personally, I don't think I would have been happy to stay in one place for all my life. There is too much of the world I want to experience. Even now at my age. My is body getting older and it's harder now to travel, but my mind doesn't seem to care. I only seem to realize my limitations when I'm doing something too physical. Like walking for very long periods of time making me have leg cramps at night or my back to hurt like hell. Will my mind ever care enough to stop exploring? I imagine I won't stop travelling until I'm either infirm or dead. It's in my blood. And, as a safeguard to my memory, I have thousands of photos to remind me of my travels once I'm in that rocking chair rockin' and rollin'.
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